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Lo Loves Making Life Difficult (single mummy hood)

July 27, 2015

Hey Beautiful


Today has been one of those days. You know the kind where before you even open your eyes you have a headache. I think my headache started last Monday actually! Last Monday was the start of the last week of school. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday til 2. Thats all we had to do. It's like you've just run a marathon and you can finally see the finish line. One last push! Until. I got a call at work; LL was sick and needed to be collected. Damn. I've never felt like such a single parent until then. I didn't know anyone who could collect her. If I left I wouldn’t get paid and all I could think of was little LL sitting outside the office with her miserable face on. 



Maybe not that face lol. But similar I'm sure! I've only had this job just over 2 months. I was lucky to find it. Right near home and school, 9-3. Part time. Well within my skill set, with room to progress, not boring, social even. I love people (even grumpy ones) and I like to be able to help. So I'm right in my element there. I considered our spotless school record, 100% attendance all round. I considered the low pay. Not something I've been a stranger too. I considered the last 8 years, sat working from home, behind a computer. At the end of a phone. In my pjs with a cup of tea (well can you blame me). Sometimes up all night 1,2,3,4 goodness knows sometimes ive taken the kids to school and gone to bed at 9.30. I considered the kids. It's just us here. I would love for them to want to own a business, but i would love for them to aspire to more than pjs and tea. I used to work in the city. I wish i could show them that! Mummy in a suit everyday. But thats too much to ask right now. The least I can do is show them a life where you go out and earn a wage, and use it to look after each other. 


I told the school I would call them back ASAP. The owner was in work. He's considered a VIP and treated rather differently than our regular Tom, Dick or Harry. I didn't want to speak. I needed to think about this. I'm the only female, none of them would have to leave if their child fell ill. They have wives for that. My head was racing. Who could I call...? My dad is never an option. Not in the best health and over an hour away. My brother lives in New York, I don’t think the school would be happy with the possibility of a cab and a skype babysitter. My mum is great, she lives and works local too, but everyone in her department has upped and left! Travelling or bigger and better offers. She had felt ill herself that day and had gone in as normal. I knew with that kind of dedication she wasn't gunna be able to leave. Although I did drop her a cheeky text which confirmed it. Time was ticking by. It had felt like hours that this is whirling in my head, it had probably only been 10 minutes when I realised my oldest friend is staying right near me with her boys. She was at work but agreed to pick LL up in an hour. What an angel. I called the school, apologised about the hours wait but at least someone was destined to collect poorly little LL. 

 Well that was it. I was the most uncomfortable person ever. Each minute felt like 30. I felt awkward and like I was in the wrong place. Guilty. LL sitting, waiting, she was actually sleeping! Poorly in the school office and I'm there pandering to the every need of a foreign businessman because I can't risk losing the money. It just felt pathetic. I've mentioned briefly in my introduction post about living a positive life. I believe that good things can happen if you keep a positive and optimistic mind set. So I took a deep breath, slapped a smile on my face and figured that I would leave at the earliest convenience and all would be well. LL loves my friend and her sons and she would no doubt PREFER to be with her anyway! A little adventure. Some Nanny cuddles. (That’s what i call my friend! she lets me get away with it too!) After about 10 minutes the manager told me that I could leave. My first thought was, what? Why? Will I get paid? He confirmed that yes, no worries about the pay. There were just a few too many hands on deck and I could make the most of an early finish. (Insert halleluiah sound bite here) SERIOUSLY! So